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why am i here in this world??
i hate my life.
buddy, idham, syafinah and others are trying to cheer me up.
but it's useless.
haiz..
i shared my problems with them too.. (:
they listen to all my problems and some gave me advice.
i love u guys!! (:
thanks for giving me all the advice. esp. idham.
we are good friends. hao peng you! (:
i think what idham has said was correct.
should stop all these things. he said all this things to me.
he asked me to love myself before loving others.
if i don't love myself, life would be meaningless.
appreciate what i have before it's too late.
i only have 1 chance in life.
change my life for the better.
if you want that guy to love you as how you want it..
if you don't love others like how you want to be loved is no point.
no one has ever love anyone like the way everyone wants to be loved
you always cheer me up mah sometimes..
so now my turn
just change your life..
turn into a new leaf..
just forget the past..
i'm just don't want you to feel like this..
i don't like it..
bcos you also listen to my probs mah last time
then i help u too.
but in a sincere way
idham is indeed a good friend of mine.
no matter what, he'll put friends in the first place.
same like the others too.. hees.
i love all my friends. hahas!
i try to cheer up and i also try to love myself, change my life. (:
i will try to do what i promise idham.
and again, thanks to idham for all the advice. (:
tomorrow will be a better day. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 9:50 PM |
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everything is my fault.
talk to them also my fault.
whatever you all think lahs.
i'm not going to care about them anymore.
if the band got a paper or silver or bronze, blame it on them.
even though within two weeks it's impossible to improve much but as long as they got put in the effort, they will improve..
aiya, whatever lah..
they want or don't want to listen is their problem.
as long as i've tried to improve myself.
after SYF, i won't be going.
when i happy then i go.
not happy then don't go lor.
if need to see the susie ho or the yeo, see lor.
as if i'm scared of them.
quit band jiu quit lor.
no cca points then don't have lahs.
before going to the SCH [songapore conference hall], everybody were unhappy of me.
because i scolded the juniors.
ya lah. my fault lah.
i messaged chanhuei baobei and jinhui buddy.
told them what happen.
jinhui buddy ask me not to care about them anymore.
and i would rather go out with them than going to band.
but the problem is...
can i don't care about the section or not???
aiya.. whatever.. i also cried in the bus.
cried alot of times.
along the way, i messaged jinhui buddy and cried to myself...
nobody was sitting beside me so nobody knew that i cried.
at the conference hall's lobby, i was practising my fingerings.
farah came by and talk to me.
she saw the face of mine..
wanted to cry so she asked me to follow her.
i told her the reasons and i think farah told valerie.
valerie said that when it's time for band then just concentrate on band.
and she would talk to me.
but after the practice, she went off first..
so nobody talked to me.
and i sat alone again..
it's quite lonely but i think that it's better off that way..
oh ya.. if they want to hate me, for all i care.
i won't be going anyway..
my standard drop then drop lor.
i also don't care much..
if they don't want any seniors to talk to them in that manner,
practise hard lah..
thats the only way to prove the seniors wrong.
and prove to yourself that you can do it.
i'm not going to care about them anymore.
they can feel free to approach me and talk to me, scold me also can.
only that i would reply them that i'm not interested in the section things anymore.
that would be better off..
after SYF, i'm free!!!
yay!!! so happy...
can go out with chanhuei baobei and jinhui buddy..
end the post here.
i miss chanhuei baobei, jinhui buddy and cassandra jiejie. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 5:38 PM |
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today i had the first section outing together with the sec 4s. hahas!
we went to east coast park for a small picnic...
we played water game?? hahas! splash here and there.
karen started it first and we trys to get revenge. hahas!
played the game called baluku. hahas! sort of like a childish game but then we still enjoyed it.
khairul, idham, izzat, ogy and wayne came by too.
continued the baluku game.. hahas. but there are more people playing. (:
ogy and khairul want to sabo wayne. hahas!
everything also wayne. then wayne blur and he kena from the alumni..
the another game we played was murderer. so lame.. hees!
we were like crazy people playing..
sitting on the grass patch and make alot of nosie.
that's what i call the clarinet section, always crazy. without fail.
but during combine, we won't be crazy.. cause we need to pay attention to mr lim.
at around 6.30, we walked from east coast to the bus-stop.
before that we chit chatted around.
finah, sihui, me and ruiyu were like childish.
cause we were playing the scissors paper stone.. hahas!
when we arrived the tech view, finah, sihui and me went in and eat.
after eating, we talk about the section.
at around 9.15,we leave the tech view.
and we went home.
i reached home at about 9.30.
immediately went to bathe.
my body is so sticky and my hair got sand.
half bathing half messaging buddy. hahas!
tomorrow got rehearsal at SCH.
i scared lehs. today's exchange we screwed up..
tomorrow got to go to school at around 11.35++.
and finah, sihui and me got to talk to the sec 2s.
hope that they really listen to the advice that were given.
end blogging here.
*yawns* *sneeze*
tired. and now i'm having a conference. |
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| GRACE ♥ 9:52 PM |
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had camp from friday to monday.
hahas.
fun fun.
even though there's two patients in my 'bunk'
which is sihui and ruiyu.
ruiyu sprained her ankle and sihui got muscle cramp.
had alot of fun till yesterdae, monday.
i cried. in fact the whole section cried for sihui.
i didn't know what happened and neither did i know that the teachers are looking for me.
until they announced it on the PA system.
went there and teachers talking to me.
after finish talking, i talked to haziq.
asked him what had happened.
he told me everything.
i was like starting to get sad.
so went up to the hall and get my water bottle.
drank some water. and that clements kept tapping me.
idoit sia he. stupid him.
everybody went into the hall, sat down and after that i saw sihui's clarinet and my clarinet was put together.
and after that, i broke down.
syafinah saw it and she asked me to go out of the hall.
the hougang peeps were like why is she crying.
after calming down, went into the hall.
sat down and cry again.
cry and cry and cry.
mr lim ask us to play, haven't start playing then i cry.
cry and cry and cry.
before taking pictures together with hougang, i talked to idham.
talk to him about sihui's things and i started to have tears again.
after taking the first picture, yubing ran towards pauline.
told pauline that sihui don't need to be warded.
pauline hugged me and i started to cry again.
she said that hey, she's alright, you don't have to cry.
it's like cry because sihui's alright.
and everybody were happy.
but i don't think everybody's like me.
cry during combine, is like my eyes were always full of tears.
hahas!
heard that the doctor ask her to rest more.
take care wor, sihui.
don't stress out too much le.
hehes!
i will miss you de. hahas!
by the way, the whole band is worried about you.
rest well. (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 9:56 AM |
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cried twice in school today.
first is because my science teacher,miss hiang, is leaving.
she cried then the girls also cried.
miss hiang's very good.
she helped us in the fiesta.
she gave us alot of hints and clues but we still copy.
haiz.. hugged her also.
buddy then came out.
ask why the girls cry.
me, myself also crying. half crying half explaining to buddy.
hahas! buddy is like... what the hell... teacher leaving only then cry till like she has passed away.
cried the second time is because of the POA teacher, that mdm yong.
idoit sia. calvin want to copy de lor.
hois table so near to mine, of cause he can see my work and copy lah.
then that mdm yong say, she's going to give me a zero for letting calvin copying my work.
at that point of time, i shouted what the fook. and went out of the classroom and cry.
quite many people were outside my classroom..
comforting me and some were walking in and out of the classroom even though there's a test going on.
after i had cried enough, calvin walked out and asked me how to do.
then jielun said to him, wah lao. people let you copy then teacher going to give her zero and you still ask her how to do!?
hahas!
cry until like my buddy passed away or he's in the hospital. *CHOY*
then that cheston also the another one.
he don't want to take the test.
then i tell him, teacher got say before that debtors,stock,cash and bank is in current asset.
then that bloody yong come out.
say that i give him answer for the test.
BLOODY HELL LOR.
then she talk to me.
say what my class only got 7 person pass.
the next door,3E got 11 fail and the others pass.
then she asked me to be her rep for POA next term.
is like all bullshits lahs. talking crap.
but she's a very good POA teacher.
she knows how to teach but don't know how to control the class' noise level.
she said that if i help people again, i will get zero and that person who copied my work also get zero.
i was like... next time when got test, ask me sit outside.
then others cannot copy my work.
then she say next time i sit at the teacher's table there.
as my friend got study and she won't copy de.
i was like... ok... next time i sit there.
i make sure i get high marks.
she kept on talking and talking and talking.
no need to rest de.
hahas!
cool seh..
wondering am i going to suffer at her hands after i become her rep in term 2?
she got alot to say de.
non stop. then teach people also like that.
hmmm..my class got holiday classes.
but i don't have.
i want POA holiday classes.
can learn more.
hahas!
i'm a werido. because i don't like MATHS but i like POA.
so lame lor.
hahas!
wah!! today's post is really so damn long. hahas!
ming tian hui gen hao!
tomorrow will be better!
take care (: |
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| GRACE ♥ 8:12 PM |
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